Living with agoraphobia: things I've learnt

1. Having the internet is hugely important, it's like my life line to the world. Through social media I am able to communicate with people whilst being at home. I can read what's going on in the world, I can watch other people's lives on Youtube and I can talk to people on Twitter and Instagram about all sorts of random things. I truly think without it I would struggle so much more.

2. It's hard and it's lonely. I worry about what people think a lot. Do they think I'm lazy? pretending? Do my neighbours notice? What does the postman think? I over think EVERYTHING. 

3. The garden still counts as out. It's Summer, we've had some great weather and I like the idea of reading outside, but I've realised that unless there is someone else there it is a no go. I still feel anxious even though it's the garden. I need to work on this. When there's a knock at the door my heart jumps out my chest. It's usually just the postman but it still panics me. Some days I can open the door, other days not. Something else I need to work on. 

4. I look forward to Saturday, because I get to see people and often leave the house. It's usually only to the shops or park but getting out the house is important.

5. I need focus. If I didn't have something to focus on I would loose my mind. I write a to do list each week and work through it. Making things for my etsy shop keeps me busy which is good, it helps me hugely. 

6. I think to the future when I am not agoraphobic. I know this won't last forever and I know I can beat it. I think to those times and it keeps me optimistic.

[I've had this in drafts forever and a lot has happened since then in terms of covid, lockdown etc... I am actually dreading when lockdown ends in many ways so thought I would post this]

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